Career

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I should pursue a career in acting. Because in acting, even best friends get to be this close, not talking holding hands or hugging, this close. Since no ones gonna fall in love with me, at least having someone being paid to do so isn't that bad. Even transguys need a little love and affection. Besides, she's pretty hot, from this angle especially, love her jawline. And well, I'm sorry that, when I saw the trailer to that movie, and the retarded parts of it, the first person I thought of watching it with is you. And I was wishing that even though I wasn't the first to ask, but I might still have had a chance to watch it with you. I didn't know you thought differently, and that's why I reacted that way I guess. You're like a huge trigger for me now, it's like everything you say or do, I don't know whether I can believe because of previous things that you have done. I wish I could hand you my trust to be taken care of, but I'm afraid it will be be carelessly swept aside on a dusty shelf waiting for a day you care. So I place my trust on my own shelf, but the triggers are getting worse. It's the trauma of a high speed car crash, flashbacks, breakdowns, crippling fear to look at a car again. It's the body's defence mechanism against happiness balanced on a tower of needles. A lost child in an alley, sweating profusely, skin white and cold, eyes wide in terror, darting to and fro, transfixed upon a wall of shadows with their longs claws and crooked laughs. I wish I could stay mad at you, but there's no way for me to. You know exactly how to warm my insides, make me forget why I was ever angry at you in the first place. I can't help myself.