Waters Rising

Have you ever loved someone so much, you've given all for her? No not the expression, no, literally given all for her. When they know they're your heart, and you know you are their armour, and you would destroy anyone that would try to harm her. But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you, and everything you stand for turns on you to spite you. What happens when you become the main source of her pain? God, I couldn't even remember her name.

There's this girl. She's everything I aspire to be, responsible, hardworking, excellent at prioritising, charitable, always willing to give back to society, intelligent, doesn't care much of what people think of her. She's never been in a relationship before. I was troubled. I liked her a lot, but somehow I felt so ashamed, like a rotting carcass washed up ashore amongst reeds and weeds, trying to get back up but falling on my knees. And you just don't court someone when you're unprepared this way, no matter how you feel, right? I care about this girl, and above that, she's a really amazing person, she deserves someone as closely amazing as herself. First relationship. You lose many things then. Your first kiss, first love, first memories of so many different places and things, I don't want her to settle for second best for all these special things, they're gonna be things that she's gonna remember as she grows up, and I think she deserves better. I'm not ready for a relationship and I know that, which is why I'm not going to approach her in any way. Her first relationship, I don't want her to suffer with someone like me, she shouldn't have to face that. After what I've been through, I know better than to let any girl suffer with me. So I'm willing to give you up, just so you'll be happier in the long run. I'm losing my touch in writing, and I feel like I'm losing my faith. I'm going nowhere. There's nowhere to turn, there's lights everywhere but they're not to guide you, no every direction you turn it's like they're out to blind you, and the intensity is growing as all around you is glowing and there's all these steps you are throwing but no way to know where you're going. It's madness, the kind I should keep to only myself.