Irisdescent

Irisdescent - Linkin Park

Today is one of those days I need someone by my side, but of course there's no one there except a bunch of memories I don't want to look at. It doesn't help that my tumblr is messing up so I can't talk to any stranger there either. The dysphoria's really bad tonight. To the future me, if you look back at this blog, realize how much you're suffering now. Please make it all worth it in the end. Your past self is thinking of drinking again, he's crying quietly in his room, and no one knows about how much he's hurting right now. He doesn't even know why its hurting him so bad, it just is. He feels lonely even though so many people are talking to him; they're not the right ones to talk about this, he doesn't want to drag them down into his misery as well. His chest feels heavy and he has to heave heavy breaths in order to feel like he's really breathing. He wonders why this is happening.

You build up hope, but failure's all you've known.