Early Friday

it felt like coming home from a long trip away, taking in the old that now seems new that is your home. It felt like something clicked into place where it should and that the air around me is lighter. It felt like coming home.

But still part of me is holding back. Part of me is afraid, somewhat. What if this bout of happiness is short-lived? What if this conversation only happened because you're away from your friends? While I'm happy for this new beginning, I'm still not ready to embrace wholly what this step is, it's like one foot is out the door yet the other is holding back. I don't know what you want, I'm just afraid that one day you'll decide that I'm too close to you and that I should leave you alone again. I want to be able to open up to you again, but only if you let me.