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I'm positive that this year might be my loneliest year yet. Most times it feels like everyone has somewhere they belong and fit in except me. I don't trust very easily and it's those vital parts of who I am that will ruin my friendships in one way or another. I guess I'm that person that nobody wants their kid to have anything to do with. I look like I don't conform, I'm not part of the racial majority here, and I'm not the sweetest kid to look at. It feels like utter shit because you know you're not a bad person, you don't make friends to screw people up, yet there's that presumption that you will, people don't trust you, and all your worth goes down the drain.

Expectations. I don't know much more clear I could be. If I love someone I don't usually expect them to love me back. I give because it's a nice thing to do for someone and because that is what I would have liked had I been in their situation. I usually don't expect anything out of it because, well, my immediate presumption is that good things never last with me anyway. I've grown up never to expect good things so as long as I could give, I do because at least then someone else wouldn't have to feel the same way I do sometimes.

How conflicting is it to really love someone yet not being sure of what love is anyway.