11pm

There's this turmoil inside me that doesn't relent. I tell myself it's over but my surroundings are tainted with remnants of her and the past. All my clothes strewed across my room, I can point out perfectly each one that I wore on our dates out. The white shirt sleeved shirt with red and blue checks that she said I had too many of, I wore that out the night we had Sunday Folks. The blue and white striped polo, I wore that on one of our picnics at marina barrage. The green shirt with tiny yellowish dots, I joked that I wore that all the time. I see the watch she gave me on the shelf next to the watch she used to borrow for herself. I see the dumbbells I used to work out with and then I'd send her a photo of myself sweating like a pig and she'd tell me to be careful. I sleep on the very same sheets and pillows that we made love on. I see the sweater she gave me. And the cat shaped thumbdrive. And the littl eeyores grumps and pancake on my bed. I see the laptop we used to skype on. The blazer that took me forever to choose. Her old project building plans are still in my folder. I see the tear stained shirt I wore on our last date. Sammy, the cat who grew up with her. I miss her so much and I want her back but it's over. It's over. It's over.