it's time to take matters into my own hands, it's time to realign myself and grow towards a stronger mind, body and soul. Some days I make mistakes, but that won't stop me from taking two steps forward the next door of opportunity I open. Every day I will forgive myself for the mistakes of yesterday, and embark on a brand new chapter of growth. No more binge drinking, no more long hiatuses from working out, no more straying from my conversations with God. If I could pull myself from self harm once, twice, I can sure as hell pull myself together again and set the right foot forward each day. It's time to start living like a warrior, it's time to start living with purpose. I used to be disciplined, I used to be determined, I used to be hungry for personal growth. But while that old fire has since burnt out, I will rise once more from the ashes and start a new flame. My hands have gotten ugly these past 4 years or so, the skin is dry and flakey, there's calluses torn and torn again, my wrists are rings of bruises from the straps cutting into my skin. But with these two hands I've built myself once, and with these two hands I'll build myself once more.
To Sabrina, I can't thank you enough for leaving the light out back for days I can't handle myself. For you I'll do the same.
To Pamela, I'm sorry that things haven't been easy for you, that your best friend didn't turn out as you thought she'd be, and that I couldn't make things any better. I see you learning to be independent and I'm proud of you. But I also see your faith in yourself wavering, and it's gotten far too close to the point of "what does it matter" way too many times. I hope you'll be honest with yourself, and I hope you'll find the strength and determination to find your place in this world, and all the happiness along the way.
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