Coupla Months

It could have been worse, but why do i feel so dreadful about waiting for a few months. Its not like I haven't done that before, but has the last thing that happened between ck and I imprinted on me that waiting for someone for so long never ends in something good? Am I that afraid of hoping for the best? Its me questioning myself now.

I've never quite liked someone like her all my life. Everyone I've been with (including short-term ones I never really counted) is the kind of girl whose profile boasts confidence, flirtatiousness, and boys queuing round the block, the kind of girl I (quote my ex) "kinda saunter in and charm" my way to, the type of girl seeking a storybook romance. Never once have I liked a girl who likes the same things that I do, or is in more ways than one, a reflection of who I want to be. Kinda strange, but I'm guessing that's why I'm kinda afraid of how this would turn out as well. And also because given the kind of girls I've dated are mostly pretty confident, they're also the kind who's willing to get into a relationship as long as we both knew we were interested in each other. If it worked, it did, if it didn't then fingers crossed we'd remain friends. So I guess it took me by surprise that this girl would wanna wait for some time before deciding. Alright, to be honest, I don't know what I'm so concerned about. Or do I. Am I concerned that if I keep waiting then it'll only end up the way it did with ck, many long months of confusion and uncertainties about anything that went on between us? Or does part of me just want the experience of being in a relationship with such a person.

At the rawest, I suppose its because I've never been told to wait. And I really dislike waiting. God I'm such a selfish bastard.