These few days have been pretty rough, dysphoria keeps hitting home and there's not as much Compasso to indulge myself in anymore. Workwise, we're only left with photoshopping the programmes into the renders to make them seem more active and lively, as well as some prep for the DARCH exhibition back in our studios next thurs.
Dysphoria wise though, I'm not sure if it's trauma, but I do feel inadequate at this point. I just feel like people accept me as a man enough to carry it through normal conversations and friendships, but I'm not enough to be considered worthy of a relationship, even the possibility of it. Half of me doesn't blame them, because who would want to willingly throw themselves into this hellhole with me? But the other half of me is so angry that nothing I do is ever enough to push me through onto that level.
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