Sea Salt Caramel

Now we've all heard about my shop selling ice cream in fancy flavours and all, some getting more and more questionable (cheese, really??), but now let's talk about what variations can be done with the same reasonable pricing and cost. 

1. Scoopletz

This one's for the kids, we're talking 60g of ice cream instead of the usual 100, and comes in a cup of 3 with 3 different flavours. You can opt for the Same Ol' (Belgian Chocolate, Vanilla Bean and Strawberry), the Gym Buff (Salty Peanut, Varlhona Chocolate and Fresh Coconut), the Oldies Goldies (Fresh Coconut, Avocado, and Gula Melaka Red Bean) or simply opt to Create-Your-Scoopletz with no additional charge. And let's face it, this one's more for the greedy adult in all of us.

2. Scoopletz with Waffle Fingers

Now THIS one's for the youngins. We're looking at churro style dip-and-crunch kinda manifesto. Except instead of dipping into sauce, you're dipping into ice cold ice cream. And instead of churros, you're dipping warm, freshly baked, crispy waffle sticks. Its like churros for a warm day. Its like churros with the wrong ingredients. 

Incredible.

You can choose between 3 scooplet flavours or having a dipping hole in the centre with warm chocolate fudge and toppings in the middle, there's something for everyone. Except kids, I hate kids, and I lied, this one isn't for them either.

3. Ferocious Creations Milkshake/Smoothie

This is like scoopletz, but for those without teeth, yeah man we're not forgetting about you either. Starting with a base price of $4.20, you can add anything and EVERYTHING into your milkshake. You can have two, three, screw it you can have 52 flavours in your milkshake and completely disgust your gym instructor. Toppings? OF COURSE! We can blend anything from chocolate chips to rainbow sprinkles so you can shit out rainbows and disappoint your family doctor. Go crazy, get wild! Only downside to this will be the poor workers here, but you don't care anyway. Awesome!

4. The Cold Calzone

This one's if a streetside ice cream bread sandwich had intercourse with a pizza and they produced a hipster teenage daughter who's 2 kool 4 skool. This one goes out to all you busy people on the go but hey, who's ever too busy for a waffle? That's why we decided to make it easier for you. Here's a waffle you can eat on the go, a folded waffle with your choice of ice cream and sauce and toppings, making it the perfect sugary cold calzone. 

Money Matters

If there was one thing I wish I could learn quickly and efficiently right now, it would be to cut my expenditure, or even better, make money appear out of thin air. I mean I understand gradually taking responsibility for my own allowances and savings but expecting me to be proficient in handling money issues within a month is a long shot away from the reality, which is me struggling to behave like an adult. Its like suddenly with my graduation and a part time job, my bus card expires (which means adult fares), I'm paying for all my bills and groceries, and my allowance is down to 150 bucks a month. Looking at my monthly pay which is about 700-850ish, a good fraction of that goes to CPF, another portion goes into my savings account, leaving me with about 450 a month to pay for food, groceries, and bills. Livable, but way tighter compared to what I'm used to. Yep so this has been troubling me for a while now and it feels quite liberating to see it down in words.

Another thing I'm a little worried for is not being able to get into a uni. Smart old me decided to apply to just one uni because I didn't read the application for the other uni properly and thought I had to submit stuff which I didn't have. Anyways, my GPA is neither here nor there but I haven't gotten a response from them though a lot of my batchmates have. I went to check and it says my application is still pending and I was thinking if you wanna reject me can't you do it earlier so I can go work for a year or two. Basic pay is about 2.1k for a diploma holder, not too bad if you ask me. So yes, that feels good to get off my chest as well.

And so we've gone through financial, education, now social. Shamyn. Is my colleague at the ice cream shop I work at. I've known her for about 4 months plus now and well, the first two months or so weren't really an issue because we didn't really work much with each other. But now my girlfriend is real jealous of her. Its hard to pinpoint anyone cause I think its in Shamyn's nature to joke in a certain way that my girlfriend is uncomfortable with, and my girlfriend, well, she just can't help her feelings. Thing is this, Shamyn is quite pretty, and she's got a touchy flirty personality to match. She calls me 'darling' or 'sayang', she'll every so often hug my arm and rest her head on my shoulder to watch a show, commented on me being some kind of manslut who likes to talk to girls because I'll know how to charm them and make them react, mentioned something about 'wait till you get amazing head', and after i texted her once to say "hey, don't get kidnapped", replied with "more like kidnapped by you for your own personal use (; ". Now of course I wouldn't think too much into this, I mean she's 24 and I'm 20, and she's not into younger guys as much as I'm not into older girls, so its all probably fun and games. But sometimes, it drives my girl nuts. Not external nuts though, cause she isn't the kind to blow her top at me, but internalised, self destructing nuts. I don't know how to reassure her, because sure, I can do all these physical things with no emotions attached whatsoever, but she can't. So to her, it'll probably seem like a tiny bit of me will get attached to the other girl. Which isn't the case, but but BUT that's not my concern. I just want my girlfriend to feel safe.

And since she can read this, I'm not gonna disclose what my plan of action is, but I'm gonna try, really really hard to make her feel as loved as she can possibly be.

Airports

Airports used to be a place of blissful memories. Tangy feelings of jitteriness to be somewhere new and yearning to be safe home pull at each other like string cheese till one gives way. For some, it is breathing new air, new sights and sounds in a place distant from home, for others, it's a warm embrace from back where you belong.

I remember being in Palermo airport, no less than 2 years back, in a group of 30ish, all scattered around in hopes of finding something better to do than staring at the minute hand tick down all 4 hours of our wait there. I was near the check-in, curiously watching two or three caged pups being manhandled as they hurried to check in the luggage. It was the only place with stable wifi, and as far as I was concerned, that was way more important than exploring that dusty two storey container. It was afternoon then, so I didn't expect a reply from you, just tapping frigid fingers rapidly against the screen more out of boredom than anything else. It came as a surprise to me  when you replied, (now that I think back about it, could it not have been you?), and at once, I felt the depths of the ocean floors between us fold. I can no longer recall what we talked about or even how close we were back then, but I remember feeling comfort in knowing we both wanted to be where the other person was. There was some sense of security in that, but what 'that' was, neither of us knew, and 'that' never lasted long enough for either of us to find out.

The airport used to be a place of blissful memories. But now that has vastly changed. It's sterility masked the overbearing air of paranoia that shrouds the back of my head whenever I visit, leaving the hairs on the back of my neck on end. I can imagine myself there in the queues, waiting for someone, hoping, expecting, only to continue to wait, wait, and wait. I can imaginemyself as a bystander, watching the person I love walk out with someone else, putting them first, before blending into a cluster which I cannot penetrate. I cannot be there. I am an invisible shadow that neither saw nor forgot. There was a sense of insecurity in that, but what 'that' was, we both knew, and it hurt to find out.

Grumps

Hi Pamela,

You wrote me 30 letters to read when I'm feeling low, so I wanna do the same for you. Before this, I never knew how sad you were when you told me you were feeling grumpy, but now I sort of understand how helpless you feel when I'm upset and you feel like you can't do anything to help me. Some things I do when I'm feeling low is watch movies of runway fails, watch funny commercials, or go to sixbillionsecrets.com. I'm not sure how you cope with it, but you can try them out, I'm not sure if they help. Remember to take care of yourself too, drink some water, and take a warm shower later, I know you probably don't feel like sleeping so early. Lastly, remember that I'm always here if you wanna talk about anything, and I mean anything, and I promise to take care of you. It makes me sad and restless to see my happy girl so grumpy. Here's a grumpy sleeping crocodile, I love you.

Fifth

Dear Pamela

Last night I asked you what falling in love felt like. You told me its hard to express, a strange but welcoming sort of fuzzy warm feeling. In many ways you're probably right, and its really quite funny how hard and utterly complex it is to explain something as simple as love. I've probably attempted this before, but we both know that love is an everchanging constant, and so for the love of words and for the love of you, I'll do it again.

Falling in love with you is like a scorching summer
Where the heat is overwhelming and never fails to catch you off guard
Sometimes it hides behind a cloud and the world dims noticeably around you
But just when you think its over, it emerges twice as intense

Falling in love with you is like the sweet scent of spring
Those days when you catch me staring at you and the slightest smile blooms within your lips
Its really small things like that which fills my lungs with honey when I try to breathe
Its really small things like that which still make butterflies flutter in my stomach after five months

Falling in love with you is like painting the colours of autumn
Love like a palette of reds and yellows and browns and all those in betweens that haven't been named yet
Its the warmth of woolen sweaters and the sound of crunching leaves
Watching them tumble from branches and remembering that like them, you too are free to fall in love

Falling in love with you surrounds me like snow in winter
Your hugs like warm cocoa in front of a fire yet your kisses like frostbite on my cheeks
The emotions we feel are like drifting snowflakes, each unique but intricately expressed
Yet look what happens when they blanket the world, an incredible winter wonderland

Canals, Gondolas

I'm getting sick of what life is throwing me. Its getting so predictable yet unavoidable and it just feels like someone is slapping my face over and  over again. Sometimes I feel like I don't give a shit anymore. Sometimes I remember that I do, and it sucks. If I went to travel right now, I'm pretty sure I won't even bother coming back anymore.

If This Was The Last Thing I Said

This one is for Pamela.

I don't know how to begin with this. If I were to leave, I hope you'll be okay. You're a dancer. I see it in you everywhere you go. Treading one foot after the next on the sidewalk. Skipping cracks on the pavement. You're one of those people whose dreams resonate within you and burst forth in every action you do. I will never be in a position to critique your skills, but your passion is something so special.  If I were to leave you, I hope you chase those dreams the way you chased the frothy edges of the sea at our spot at the beach. Never thoroughly pursuing, but never letting out of sight, a dance to a rhythm between only the sea and the sand between your toes.

I hope you find someone who loves you and never leaves you the way I have. I hope he never finds a reason to doubt his love for someone like you. You'll meet a boy who can't help but smile every time he sees you, someone who will hold your hands in his and study the creases like constellations. He'll tell you the meaning of the lines you've drawn on your skin, and he'll tell you about his family and his dreams, and how every wrong turn in his life eventually led to you. I hope you meet someone that your family will love, and he will take time off to get tackled by your nieces and hold hands with you in front of your father. And I hope he will call in the middle of the day to remind you that he loves you and leave random notes around to tell you how incredible you are. And even behind closed doors, he will hold you in his arms so delicately that you will allow yourself to trust him. You will find a man who's been searching everywhere for someone like you, and he's going to make you happy in a way I never can.

If I leave you, I hope you'll keep on loving the things you do. I hope you continue to make warm nutella sandwiches because they're the best things I've tasted. I hope you continue to look up at the stars, and count them, and after a while give up because they're like holes on a piece of canvas and you are but one girl trying to conquer the universe. And I hope you try, because the universe is within your reach.

I fell in love with your sincerity, your kindness, and your compassion, and I believe all these things make you who you are. If I die, I hope all these things stay alive within you and that you're able to share them with someone else whose whole world amounts to you. I hope you find happiness, and I hope you remember me by that one night I wrote a song for you and played it on the guitar and sang out of key. Embarrassing, but I suppose its who I am, an ambitious mix of overthinking and too little thinking. Its never been the case that I don't love you. Even when I cannot say it, its because those words simply don't capture the integrity of what I feel towards you. Its not just love, its intrigue, and amazement, and anger, and care, and guilt and I don't think the simplicity of love is what they all sum up to. 

But if I die, hope you never need to see my body. Remember me for a while, and then let me go as soon as you can. You are so much more and you can be happy without me. Have faith.