The Daylight Project - Maroon 5
Wednesday 31 July 2013
Saturday 27 July 2013
Deja Vu
I won't call it déjà Vu but this sort of feeling on emerges once in a long time. Right now I'm feeling so damn proud and happy over her canoe race. So she took part in 3 races in today's National Women's Canoeing Championship, and when she sent me the photo of the gold medal I already just flipped and hecked about the other two races in my head is just WOAH THIS IS MY CHAMPION! Not to mention she hasn't exactly been training up this past week because of the workload. She said she's not as happy cos this isn't a polite race but really heck it man, I'm already so happy and proud of her. The only other time I've felt so proud of someone was two Decembers ago when Sabrina and I were both struggling with lousy wifi across continents, her in Vienna and me in my bedroom sneaking a use of my laptop at 5am to receive the news of them clinching grand champion choir, I AM THAT PROUD. And I'm really glad she got to meet her sec school friends today, they seem to make her so happy. I'm so glad you're happy.
Thursday 25 July 2013
Square One
I just reached home. Ran home from your house but I only just reached home because I ran slowly. Because I'm no good at it. No good at anything really.
I've never been this angry in a long time, the anger feels so fresh, so raw. It's really frustrating. It's bloody frustrating that I don't get you. I can more or less understand everyone else but you're a fucking wall. I try to open up to you, all I get are okays and nods like nothing I said mattered at all but you know what? All those things I told you are a big part of my life. Think about it. Do you know how much I'm putting on the line just to show you that I trust you? But you just think its ridiculous don't you? I'm some kind of clown. You are two completely different people in front of others and behind them. You act so nice and playful when we're surrounded by people but once we're alone, you shut me out like you're stamping out a fire. Or is that what Libras are all about? It's not that I want to invade your personal space, neither am I trying to pry you open and squeeze your opinions out on things. To me, it's just that communication is really important between friends and I want you to fucking talk to me. I don't know, maybe you don't think communication is important, maybe you think personal space is more important in friendship, how would I know, have you ever told me?
Tell me I'm overlooking into things and I'll tell you you're wrong. There's a difference between the kind of friend you were and what you are now and it's clear as day. If you want me to go away just fucking tell me. I'm sick of this. I honestly loved you.
I've never been this angry in a long time, the anger feels so fresh, so raw. It's really frustrating. It's bloody frustrating that I don't get you. I can more or less understand everyone else but you're a fucking wall. I try to open up to you, all I get are okays and nods like nothing I said mattered at all but you know what? All those things I told you are a big part of my life. Think about it. Do you know how much I'm putting on the line just to show you that I trust you? But you just think its ridiculous don't you? I'm some kind of clown. You are two completely different people in front of others and behind them. You act so nice and playful when we're surrounded by people but once we're alone, you shut me out like you're stamping out a fire. Or is that what Libras are all about? It's not that I want to invade your personal space, neither am I trying to pry you open and squeeze your opinions out on things. To me, it's just that communication is really important between friends and I want you to fucking talk to me. I don't know, maybe you don't think communication is important, maybe you think personal space is more important in friendship, how would I know, have you ever told me?
Tell me I'm overlooking into things and I'll tell you you're wrong. There's a difference between the kind of friend you were and what you are now and it's clear as day. If you want me to go away just fucking tell me. I'm sick of this. I honestly loved you.
Tuesday 16 July 2013
Update
I haven't blogged here in literally months, been more active on tumblr lately but overall just been pretty busy with school and problems (I'll get back to that in a bit) and new interests in my life ahem.
So let's go through the list shall we? First one, school. Project's been getting more hectic, both my yearlong and Compasso that is. In fact, as I speak, somewhere tucked in the folded edges of my mind are this week's critique (in an hour or so), 3 submissions and Compasso GM which we haven't been especially dedicated to due to the workload. Frankly speaking, Compasso seems to be taking on much better form than my personal project, not just in terms of shape but because it is strong both in concept and the resulting form. The ties are solid. Perhaps it has much to do with the looser criteria to fit into the building. Meanwhile with my yearlong project, as with every time, the concept starts off strong but dies out along the way to accommodate site coverage, unit capacity, GFA and the likes. And there's crit today. Great. On the bright side, after the bulk of submissions are over, we could start working on Compasso once more, which brings us closer to ITALY. Hella stoked.
Next, problems. Don't get me wrong here, I do have my share of problems, but as usual I don't have the privilege of others taking big time off for them. Strip me naked and roast me on a grill, I have no clue why I'm that ultimate 'go-to' when it comes to problems. Not gonna mention any names here, but I've got two break ups, one suicidal case and one depression case under my wing right now. Break up 1: she's been cutting. Break up 2: he lost her, his mom just passed away, he's about to launch himself into the same depressive coma I had. Suicidal case: lost family. Depression case: I've no clue this one. That's fine. With a flap of my wings and a shower of golden dust you guys will be alright. And there's plenty to go around for everyone. I want all of you to be okay, I'll work for it too, no worries.
Third, new interests. Let's start with more mundane ones alright? Gym's been going fine, I hit my goal of 65 kilos a while back, which adds up to a total 11 kilos of gains from the start of the year. Gotta start shredding soon and look good for Italy. I'm still out of protein so I'm probably gonna buy off of Dillon's brother soon. Appetite's been way more than healthy, I've been eating like a monster. Alright done. Now I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in anyone. Just that it was all smooth sailing and holding hands and cuddling and fun and laughter until I fucked up a few days ago and I think she's still a little annoyed at me. I personally think the back story is quite ridiculous but apparently I'm the only one who thinks so.
Okay so we were talking a coupla nights ago, and she sent me this photo of her just outside her house in her new dress. The background was dark and there were a whole lot of trees, so me, being the complete romantic loverboy I wish I was, said "eh shit I think there's something behind you." Now she's the sort who is terrified of these kind of things, so naturally she started panicking, and she went to ask another friend about it.....and he played along. So this exchange went on for a while, with her contemplating whether she should delete the photo and me telling her no no its alright just pretend I didn't say anything. Which scared her to the point that she told me to just zoom up on it and send her. Mistake number two: zooming up on her face, screenshotting it, and sending it to her. She told me she was gonna get nightmares thanks to me. I had to idea she was angry. She told me this was as bad as throwing a bunch of caterpillars in her face. Still didn't know she was mad. Mistake number three: sending a pagefull of caterpillar emojis to her. That's when she lashed out and all my mistakes got strewn across my pathetic face.
So that's the story of how she still seems kinda annoyed at me. I can't help finding it a little funny actually, even after a little berating from my classmates. They said I was asking for it. Maybe I was. I'm reading this book at the moment, it's called The Book Thief. It was introduced to me by Little Miss Something-Behind-You up there, and turns out its a pretty sweet book. Written from the point of view of Death, the soul collector, and cast in the dirt-shackled streets of Nazi Germany, it tells the story of a poor girl who was lucky enough to be sent to a foster home before her mother was taken away. It paints the backdrop of what Germany was like during the World War, the reign of Hitler, and the lives of Germans and Jews alike. The book is simple but written in a way I'd like to accomplish in terms of description and imagery. I'll get back with a full review of the book when I'm done with it. So yup that's my update, and I'll probably do another one sometime soon.
So let's go through the list shall we? First one, school. Project's been getting more hectic, both my yearlong and Compasso that is. In fact, as I speak, somewhere tucked in the folded edges of my mind are this week's critique (in an hour or so), 3 submissions and Compasso GM which we haven't been especially dedicated to due to the workload. Frankly speaking, Compasso seems to be taking on much better form than my personal project, not just in terms of shape but because it is strong both in concept and the resulting form. The ties are solid. Perhaps it has much to do with the looser criteria to fit into the building. Meanwhile with my yearlong project, as with every time, the concept starts off strong but dies out along the way to accommodate site coverage, unit capacity, GFA and the likes. And there's crit today. Great. On the bright side, after the bulk of submissions are over, we could start working on Compasso once more, which brings us closer to ITALY. Hella stoked.
Next, problems. Don't get me wrong here, I do have my share of problems, but as usual I don't have the privilege of others taking big time off for them. Strip me naked and roast me on a grill, I have no clue why I'm that ultimate 'go-to' when it comes to problems. Not gonna mention any names here, but I've got two break ups, one suicidal case and one depression case under my wing right now. Break up 1: she's been cutting. Break up 2: he lost her, his mom just passed away, he's about to launch himself into the same depressive coma I had. Suicidal case: lost family. Depression case: I've no clue this one. That's fine. With a flap of my wings and a shower of golden dust you guys will be alright. And there's plenty to go around for everyone. I want all of you to be okay, I'll work for it too, no worries.
Third, new interests. Let's start with more mundane ones alright? Gym's been going fine, I hit my goal of 65 kilos a while back, which adds up to a total 11 kilos of gains from the start of the year. Gotta start shredding soon and look good for Italy. I'm still out of protein so I'm probably gonna buy off of Dillon's brother soon. Appetite's been way more than healthy, I've been eating like a monster. Alright done. Now I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in anyone. Just that it was all smooth sailing and holding hands and cuddling and fun and laughter until I fucked up a few days ago and I think she's still a little annoyed at me. I personally think the back story is quite ridiculous but apparently I'm the only one who thinks so.
Okay so we were talking a coupla nights ago, and she sent me this photo of her just outside her house in her new dress. The background was dark and there were a whole lot of trees, so me, being the complete romantic loverboy I wish I was, said "eh shit I think there's something behind you." Now she's the sort who is terrified of these kind of things, so naturally she started panicking, and she went to ask another friend about it.....and he played along. So this exchange went on for a while, with her contemplating whether she should delete the photo and me telling her no no its alright just pretend I didn't say anything. Which scared her to the point that she told me to just zoom up on it and send her. Mistake number two: zooming up on her face, screenshotting it, and sending it to her. She told me she was gonna get nightmares thanks to me. I had to idea she was angry. She told me this was as bad as throwing a bunch of caterpillars in her face. Still didn't know she was mad. Mistake number three: sending a pagefull of caterpillar emojis to her. That's when she lashed out and all my mistakes got strewn across my pathetic face.
So that's the story of how she still seems kinda annoyed at me. I can't help finding it a little funny actually, even after a little berating from my classmates. They said I was asking for it. Maybe I was. I'm reading this book at the moment, it's called The Book Thief. It was introduced to me by Little Miss Something-Behind-You up there, and turns out its a pretty sweet book. Written from the point of view of Death, the soul collector, and cast in the dirt-shackled streets of Nazi Germany, it tells the story of a poor girl who was lucky enough to be sent to a foster home before her mother was taken away. It paints the backdrop of what Germany was like during the World War, the reign of Hitler, and the lives of Germans and Jews alike. The book is simple but written in a way I'd like to accomplish in terms of description and imagery. I'll get back with a full review of the book when I'm done with it. So yup that's my update, and I'll probably do another one sometime soon.
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