Rant

In all honesty, why do people get so offended when they're served in anything less than glassware?? Maybe I don't read into the language of the high and mighty that much but a milkshake is a milkshake irregardless of glass or plastic freaking cup. Saying this again for the people who don't even bother hiding their look of absolute disgust being served ice cream in a paper cup. Bitch you wanna pay another 3.50 for a takeaway ceramic cup tell you what, next time lets bring a plate from home now shall we?

And to milkshake man, jokes on you man the plastic cup fills quite a bit more than your damn glass.

Why do people take so bloody long to reply. It's like you reply once and chuck your phone across the Pacific Ocean or something, one second you're online and next thing you disappear for a good 15 mins. If it's normal conversation it's okay, what's not okay is going incognito mid-time sensitive issue. God damn it. Ever heard of planning backwards anybody? Who the hell gets anywhere in 15 mins.

Hour Glass

You're an hourglass. You're a wall clock laid on its side with its hands faced up. You're dry pale sand seeping through a minute crevice in a cavern of glass. You're the even spaces between the ticks and the tocks that make my nerves wrench. 

In this instance, I am a void of emotions, empty from sorrow and fear and hopefulness. Each step taken is devoid of caution, utterly careless and purposefully thoughtless, as though death would be a friendly guest to greet at my front door. The only thoughts accounted for are the seconds awaiting for the knock, one, two, three, four.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

I am a void of emotions in a bottle, and my glass walls are thick. It won't open nor will it shatter, it brags of bruised knuckles and sleepless nights, heavy eyes and leaden hearts. The walls are impenetrable. They cannot feel the words they hear, those words are powdered into crumbly sand and scattered in the bed on which it lies. 

What are we fighting for? I become a stranger by every turn of the hourglass.

11 May

I thought mothers were supposed to help their children feel validated and support their children's interests and self expression. Projecting yourself onto your child is both unhealthy and detrimental to their self esteem and relationship with you. Your child isn't you. He isn't the savior of the hopes and dreams you never fulfilled as a kid, he isn't sent down to help you fulfill those things you never did, and he definitely isn't an extension of you. Your child is going to be very different from you are, in ways you've perhaps never known before, but it's your job as a parent to clarify, understand, and offer support for their decisions in life. My heart is so heavy as I type this.

You make me wish I had cancer so all my hair would fall off from chemo. See how you'll love me then.

Song for today: Let's Kill Tonight - Panic! At The Disco

Big Ass Car

There's just something bout a young lady in glasses pulling up in front of you in a bigass car. Powerful, classy, flirty. Who knew glasses and a big black car could make a world of a difference, damn.

Sea Salt Caramel

Now we've all heard about my shop selling ice cream in fancy flavours and all, some getting more and more questionable (cheese, really??), but now let's talk about what variations can be done with the same reasonable pricing and cost. 

1. Scoopletz

This one's for the kids, we're talking 60g of ice cream instead of the usual 100, and comes in a cup of 3 with 3 different flavours. You can opt for the Same Ol' (Belgian Chocolate, Vanilla Bean and Strawberry), the Gym Buff (Salty Peanut, Varlhona Chocolate and Fresh Coconut), the Oldies Goldies (Fresh Coconut, Avocado, and Gula Melaka Red Bean) or simply opt to Create-Your-Scoopletz with no additional charge. And let's face it, this one's more for the greedy adult in all of us.

2. Scoopletz with Waffle Fingers

Now THIS one's for the youngins. We're looking at churro style dip-and-crunch kinda manifesto. Except instead of dipping into sauce, you're dipping into ice cold ice cream. And instead of churros, you're dipping warm, freshly baked, crispy waffle sticks. Its like churros for a warm day. Its like churros with the wrong ingredients. 

Incredible.

You can choose between 3 scooplet flavours or having a dipping hole in the centre with warm chocolate fudge and toppings in the middle, there's something for everyone. Except kids, I hate kids, and I lied, this one isn't for them either.

3. Ferocious Creations Milkshake/Smoothie

This is like scoopletz, but for those without teeth, yeah man we're not forgetting about you either. Starting with a base price of $4.20, you can add anything and EVERYTHING into your milkshake. You can have two, three, screw it you can have 52 flavours in your milkshake and completely disgust your gym instructor. Toppings? OF COURSE! We can blend anything from chocolate chips to rainbow sprinkles so you can shit out rainbows and disappoint your family doctor. Go crazy, get wild! Only downside to this will be the poor workers here, but you don't care anyway. Awesome!

4. The Cold Calzone

This one's if a streetside ice cream bread sandwich had intercourse with a pizza and they produced a hipster teenage daughter who's 2 kool 4 skool. This one goes out to all you busy people on the go but hey, who's ever too busy for a waffle? That's why we decided to make it easier for you. Here's a waffle you can eat on the go, a folded waffle with your choice of ice cream and sauce and toppings, making it the perfect sugary cold calzone. 

Money Matters

If there was one thing I wish I could learn quickly and efficiently right now, it would be to cut my expenditure, or even better, make money appear out of thin air. I mean I understand gradually taking responsibility for my own allowances and savings but expecting me to be proficient in handling money issues within a month is a long shot away from the reality, which is me struggling to behave like an adult. Its like suddenly with my graduation and a part time job, my bus card expires (which means adult fares), I'm paying for all my bills and groceries, and my allowance is down to 150 bucks a month. Looking at my monthly pay which is about 700-850ish, a good fraction of that goes to CPF, another portion goes into my savings account, leaving me with about 450 a month to pay for food, groceries, and bills. Livable, but way tighter compared to what I'm used to. Yep so this has been troubling me for a while now and it feels quite liberating to see it down in words.

Another thing I'm a little worried for is not being able to get into a uni. Smart old me decided to apply to just one uni because I didn't read the application for the other uni properly and thought I had to submit stuff which I didn't have. Anyways, my GPA is neither here nor there but I haven't gotten a response from them though a lot of my batchmates have. I went to check and it says my application is still pending and I was thinking if you wanna reject me can't you do it earlier so I can go work for a year or two. Basic pay is about 2.1k for a diploma holder, not too bad if you ask me. So yes, that feels good to get off my chest as well.

And so we've gone through financial, education, now social. Shamyn. Is my colleague at the ice cream shop I work at. I've known her for about 4 months plus now and well, the first two months or so weren't really an issue because we didn't really work much with each other. But now my girlfriend is real jealous of her. Its hard to pinpoint anyone cause I think its in Shamyn's nature to joke in a certain way that my girlfriend is uncomfortable with, and my girlfriend, well, she just can't help her feelings. Thing is this, Shamyn is quite pretty, and she's got a touchy flirty personality to match. She calls me 'darling' or 'sayang', she'll every so often hug my arm and rest her head on my shoulder to watch a show, commented on me being some kind of manslut who likes to talk to girls because I'll know how to charm them and make them react, mentioned something about 'wait till you get amazing head', and after i texted her once to say "hey, don't get kidnapped", replied with "more like kidnapped by you for your own personal use (; ". Now of course I wouldn't think too much into this, I mean she's 24 and I'm 20, and she's not into younger guys as much as I'm not into older girls, so its all probably fun and games. But sometimes, it drives my girl nuts. Not external nuts though, cause she isn't the kind to blow her top at me, but internalised, self destructing nuts. I don't know how to reassure her, because sure, I can do all these physical things with no emotions attached whatsoever, but she can't. So to her, it'll probably seem like a tiny bit of me will get attached to the other girl. Which isn't the case, but but BUT that's not my concern. I just want my girlfriend to feel safe.

And since she can read this, I'm not gonna disclose what my plan of action is, but I'm gonna try, really really hard to make her feel as loved as she can possibly be.