Grumps

Hi Pamela,

You wrote me 30 letters to read when I'm feeling low, so I wanna do the same for you. Before this, I never knew how sad you were when you told me you were feeling grumpy, but now I sort of understand how helpless you feel when I'm upset and you feel like you can't do anything to help me. Some things I do when I'm feeling low is watch movies of runway fails, watch funny commercials, or go to sixbillionsecrets.com. I'm not sure how you cope with it, but you can try them out, I'm not sure if they help. Remember to take care of yourself too, drink some water, and take a warm shower later, I know you probably don't feel like sleeping so early. Lastly, remember that I'm always here if you wanna talk about anything, and I mean anything, and I promise to take care of you. It makes me sad and restless to see my happy girl so grumpy. Here's a grumpy sleeping crocodile, I love you.

Fifth

Dear Pamela

Last night I asked you what falling in love felt like. You told me its hard to express, a strange but welcoming sort of fuzzy warm feeling. In many ways you're probably right, and its really quite funny how hard and utterly complex it is to explain something as simple as love. I've probably attempted this before, but we both know that love is an everchanging constant, and so for the love of words and for the love of you, I'll do it again.

Falling in love with you is like a scorching summer
Where the heat is overwhelming and never fails to catch you off guard
Sometimes it hides behind a cloud and the world dims noticeably around you
But just when you think its over, it emerges twice as intense

Falling in love with you is like the sweet scent of spring
Those days when you catch me staring at you and the slightest smile blooms within your lips
Its really small things like that which fills my lungs with honey when I try to breathe
Its really small things like that which still make butterflies flutter in my stomach after five months

Falling in love with you is like painting the colours of autumn
Love like a palette of reds and yellows and browns and all those in betweens that haven't been named yet
Its the warmth of woolen sweaters and the sound of crunching leaves
Watching them tumble from branches and remembering that like them, you too are free to fall in love

Falling in love with you surrounds me like snow in winter
Your hugs like warm cocoa in front of a fire yet your kisses like frostbite on my cheeks
The emotions we feel are like drifting snowflakes, each unique but intricately expressed
Yet look what happens when they blanket the world, an incredible winter wonderland

Canals, Gondolas

I'm getting sick of what life is throwing me. Its getting so predictable yet unavoidable and it just feels like someone is slapping my face over and  over again. Sometimes I feel like I don't give a shit anymore. Sometimes I remember that I do, and it sucks. If I went to travel right now, I'm pretty sure I won't even bother coming back anymore.